Should we feel ‘autism pride’?
Autism sparks a myriad of reactions.
There was my grandparents generation where autistic was synonymous with spastic or retarded, and ‘those’ people were institutionalised.
There is my parents generation where you did anything to prevent being ‘labelled’, because labels box you in, stop people seeing the ‘real you’, and haunt you throughout your life. They didn’t really know much about autism (not much has changed on that front), but heard that it was an unpleasant label to have. There were no autistics around, just people who were ‘odd’ but everyone largely left them alone
Growing up I knew nothing about autism and knew no one who was autistic. The movie Rain Man came out soon after I was born and it influenced public perceptions for the better, though not by much. You could be autistic and not be institutionalised, but it’s not a pretty picture. Head-banging and screaming definitely come to mind.
Since my youth attitudes towards autism have changed from complete ignorance and prejudice, to semi-ignorance and semi-prejudice. The ‘90s saw the neurodivergent movement gain speed, where people started thinking that maybe autism isn’t such a bad thing? Maybe they’re even part of the evolutionary spectrum – perhaps this is the future of humanity? While I didn’t hear of this movement, by this time I had met a few who had a diagnosis and they were weird but ok people. But mainly weird.
2000s saw views became more polarised:
Autism is a super power!
versus
Autism is a disease that must be cured!
Can autism be cured? No: research is pretty emphatic at this point in time. Can someone ‘outgrow’ autism? No: little autistics will grow into big autistics. But there’s no reason why someone (usually with milder characteristics) can’t learn to live with it, learn to overcome their challenges, and blend in so well that they no longer need the label. If they want to blend in, of course. This is a big difference from the 90s: you can now pick up a label, and you can put it back down again. Meanwhile, the label can be your friend because it produces understanding and funding and support.
Proud to be autistic?
With 2010s came ‘autistic pride’. Apparently these days we have to be proud of everything, so it figures that the neurodiversity movement has jumped on the bandwagon. Interestingly, those same people say that if they had the opportunity they wouldn’t NOT be autistic – they love their autism. Why shouldn’t they be proud?
Let’s think about this rationally. What’s there to be proud of? Autism is identified by 7 criteria; all considered deficits (thanks to the world we live in). A person’s report will literally say over and over again: ‘they can’t do [fill in the blank]’. They can’t socialise well, they don’t read non-verbal cues, they have trouble making friends, they struggle with emotional regulation, they’re restricted in their behaviour, they don’t like loud noise or bright lights or change or routine or… and the list goes on. Not every autistic will have every ‘deficit’, but they definitely need to qualify for five criterions to be considered on the spectrum.
Autism also tends to come with ‘friends’. ‘Friends’ such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, APD, and a heap of other acronyms that you’d get confused about. These ‘friends’ aren’t actually nice to live with; these ‘friends’ can actually cause more problems than autism itself.
The world is not set up for autistic people –
We are considered rude when we don’t look people in the eye, or when we say very bluntly that a person’s dress looks terrible (well, you did ask the question!).
Shopping centres are full of those terrible florescent lights, flickering off and on, people everywhere, noises that just won’t stop.
Schools make kids sit who can’t learn while sitting, shove them onto a playground with kids who don’t follow the rules, make them be quiet when their bodies aren’t able to, have relief teachers on any given day, and excessively loud bells that can ring any minute!
Employment usually requires time management skills, the ability to prioritise tasks, set goals, stay focussed, communicate well with colleagues… Rarely do they make allowances for those who have poor executive functioning.
So why would you want to be autistic? What’s there to be proud of?
The person who says they’re proud of being autistic is the person who is able to function reasonably well in the world, whose autism is perhaps only a ‘minor inconvenience’. That person negates the experiences of the non-verbal autistic, or the severely sensory impaired autistic, or those who have much stronger characteristics that hinder relationships or jobs. They also negate the experiences of the parents who constantly fear for the safety of their highly vulnerable child, or worry about who will look after their highly dependent child once they’re dead.
In my reckoning, autism isn’t a super power, nor is it something to be proud of.
So where does this leave us? Let’s face it, the picture I just painted is pretty bleak. Should we continue to pursue that impossible cure? There are some who are indeed doing just that. Should we re-consider institutionalisation? Do we just need to ‘beat the weird out of them’?
Uh… no.
A more balanced approach
I want people to understand that life can really suck when you’re autistic. It can be hard to make friends, find a job, hold down a job, live independently, stay safe, find a romantic relationship, know who to trust, get support… Do I wish this on anyone? No.
But being autistic isn’t a death sentence either. Just like any disability you have to learn to live with it, learn to work around the challenges, get help and support where needed, and really focus on the good that autism might bring. There are positives to be found it’s just that sometimes they’re hard to see clearly. People are more than welcome to like being autistic; they may even love it if they want to. Good for them! Obviously their strengths are obvious and their autism is working in their favour and helping them along in the world. At the end of the day though might I suggest that we all see autism as just another aspect of humanity that is here to stay:
It’s just one more disability among many others. And that’s ok.
It is a hidden disability because the challenges are all internal rather than external. So we work on educating people.
It is not a super power but it can come with some pretty good strengths. Great, what are they?
Its challenges can be overcome to a large extent when other people are supportive and understanding. But isn’t this how we should treat everyone anyway?
Is autism something to be proud of? Not in my opinion. But we shouldn’t be ashamed either. Autism exists and if you or your child is autistic then the best thing you can do is normalise it, make peace with its presence in your world, and just get on with living.
You might like to check out the blog post ‘Autism from a different perspective’ to help you understand a different way of perceiving autism and its strengths and challenges.