Finding support, part 3
Community sources
In the previous two parts we looked at government and professional sources of support. This time we’re going to look at the various community sources that you might tap into to help you on your journey either as a family member of a neurodivergent, or if you are the individual in question. I find that each sphere of support has their uses, but community supports tend to be the most rewarding. In many cases they’re also the most valuable as they are a (generally) free exchange of information or compassion, with no strings attached.
Non-professional community organisations
By this I mean national associations or societies as well as large local groups such as Asperlutely Autsome (for those in South Australia). These organisations provide some very useful information, as well as sometimes organise regular events to bring people together. They’re kinda the next stage up from community support groups (which we’ll get to next) in the level of organisation involved. Some of these can be amazing, however do be careful of others that liken neurodiversity to being a disease that must be cured. If you’re not sure why I advise you to steer clear of the latter, have a read through some of my blog posts about my take on neurodiversity.
Non-professional individuals or partnerships
This where people started out creating websites full of useful information (similar to what mine aspires to be) and quickly moved on to full scale conferences and paid courses. These individuals aren’t necessary professional but rather are very interested and have a lot of knowledge, wisdom and experience they wish to share. It’s from these organisations that you’ll often find your ‘self-help’ courses.
Where to find these supports? There are one or two in Australia and a number overseas. The beauty of zoom is that on-line conferences are so easy to access now and have risen in popularity. If I spot any of interest then I’ll put them in the comments and I welcome you to add any in that you hear about as well.
Community support groups
There are a spattering of groups out there, some more organised than others. They generally meet in person with a few dedicated zoom groups, and can be extremely helpful. There’s an exchange of information, often on a local level, and unloading is ok (though not too much whinging – there is a limit!). Even if you never mention the neurodiversity in question, the fact is that you’re among friends (so to speak) who know first-hand what you’re experiencing and will listen to you with sympathetic ears. To be honest, I’ve found support groups to be a life-saver, as have many others.
An internet search comes up with all kinds of goodies so start there, otherwise there’s always word of mouth. If you’re unable to connect in with any support groups that suit (eg. finding a Christian-flavoured support group isn’t always possible) then why not make your own? Get together with a few others who you think will fit and just go out for a coffee!
Facebook groups
A step down from the community support group is the facebook group. A quick search on facebook will come up with a whole stack of options for you, though as with any such group it might find a while to find the right fit (eg. many groups are pro-LGBT+). Once again, if you can’t find one that suits then create one.
Friends and family
These are two of the trickier supports to lean on as a) good intentions don’t necessarily equate to support, b) you might not have any family close-by or friends you can rely on, and c) it’s not always fair to rely on them either. Coming across as too needy can ruin an otherwise good friendship, so if you find it helpful having 2 hour weekly phone calls then double/triple check that this is ok with them. Also, bear in mind that they often have their own struggles and might not be in the position to be your sole support. Some people struggle to put up boundaries and with a pleasant and willing demeanour will say ‘sure’ even when every fibre of their body is actually screaming ‘NO!’, so they need you to be just as mindful of their needs as you are of your own. Try to spread the load with other supports and people if you can.
Well, that’s all I can think of! I hope this series has been helpful for you and you find the support you need. I encourage you to now read the blog post, ‘When the burden is great and hope is so small’. In a way it’s a conclusion to this series in that it gives a first-hand description of how it feels when all the support that humans can offer will never be enough, and then what do you do?