Finding support, part 2

Professional sources

When people begin to suspect neurodiversity or their child receives a diagnosis, almost immediately they wonder what therapy they can access to help sort out the challenges. Therapy has this aura of greatness surrounding it. ‘Therapy, the fixer of all things!’ I happen to think that therapy can be extremely useful and definitely worthwhile considering, but like everything there’s pros and cons and I felt it was a good idea to delve into what to expect from therapy and what I’ve learned over the years.

What does therapy look like?

Therapy can look very different depending on what therapist is seen and what profession they’re in. Some are play-based, others are talky-talky; some sit and do an activity while chatting, others focus on big physical movements and talk very little. Some are in the pool, some are outside, some are in the home, but most are in a clinical setting which has very little resemblance to real-life.

Types of therapy available

The list seems endless however I’ve put together a handy info sheet in the Resources section, so if you’re keen to know the answer then check this out!

Benefits of therapy

Obviously getting professionals involved is a good thing. They’ve studied in areas that chances are you’ve never even heard of, and so have a lot of knowledge and understanding that you simply don’t have time to figure out yourself. If you can find the right therapist that is the perfect fit (I’ll talk about what that looks like in a moment) then therapy can be an absolute game-changer for your family.

Drawbacks of therapy

To balance out the amazingness of therapy, here are two things I’ve noticed:

1. There is such a thing as therapy burn-out. You can think, ‘my kid needs this and this and that and let’s not forget this’, but you need to remember that therapy is HARD for the child because they’re being asked to do things that they cannot already do. Being dragged around to all these appointments can easily lead to burn-out; burn-out for you, the child, and any siblings that are along for the ride. And since therapy is hard for the child, new neural pathways and skills can take time to acquire, so sometimes it’s far better to give them the space to practise on what they have learned than to constantly flood them with new info.

2. Therapy can be absolutely useless if you’re not willing to put in the effort. I really want to stress this because it’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the years. Therapy largely involves sending your child off once a week or once a fortnight to work on challenges with, at the beginning, a complete stranger. Let’s stop and think about what a therapist, someone who barely knows your child, can actually do in a 45 to 60 minute session, approximately 20 to 40 times a year, with massive breaks in between for holidays or potential cancellations… Not a lot. This is compounded when, for whatever the reason, the child isn’t engaged in the session. It’s also unhelpful when the therapy is carried out in a clinical setting - how can a child generalise new skills in the playground with other children when they’re sitting at a table in a sterile room, one-on-one with an adult, even if there are a couple of toys to play with? And if the therapist only sees the child then they only know one side of the story. What if it’s not the child but the parents who need to be shown some tips and tricks, or if the child needs their sibling relationship supported? If you cannot put in the effort and be present for the sessions (or at least communicate amazingly well with the therapists outside of them) then think twice about doing it.

Choosing a therapist

            This is really important as it’ll save you time and energy in the long-run. Because therapy is a long-term game you want to do your best to get it right from the beginning (note however that if you’re depending on NDIS for funding then this makes things tricky as they are all about short-term results).  Here are a few factors to consider:

• Type of therapy – see the separate list available on the Resources page.

• Waiting list – waiting a year to finally get an appointment doesn’t qualify as immediate intervention.

• Location/style – eg. physio can be done in a clinical setting, at home, outside, at a centre (my kids did it at a trampoline place for a while), or in a pool. Which would suit your child best? What are their goals?

• Convenience – it needs to fit into your schedule and travelling long distances might not suit.

• Cost – even if you have government funding, you want to stretch it as far as you can go.

• Personality match – therapists are people too! And some won’t suit your child, or you.

• Experience – if your child is complex you’ll need someone who knows what they’re doing.

• Availability – most therapists tend to be women and in my experience many are at the perfect age of child-bearing or chase companies offering better pay. Unless you want limited availability or to have to change therapists constantly within a short period of time because they go on maternity leave, consider their age and how long they’ve been with their current organisation.

• Engages the whole family – the best therapist is one who looks at the family as a whole and includes them and the wider context as much as possible. They seek to partner with you, and you feel comfortable having a conversation with them.

• Public or private

• Sole therapist or in a group situation – if your child needs multiple services then it can be helpful linking up with a company that has different therapy options available, as the therapists can converse with one another easily and take a more holistic approach.

• Values - while each of these other reasons are very important, this one that trumps them all. The therapist will be having potentially one-on-one sessions with your impressionable child, probably (though hopefully not) without you in the room, so what are they telling them? Are they upholding your family principles or will they spout out the latest ideology? Sometimes it’s worth sacrificing one or more of the above factors for the sake of a therapist who will safeguard your values.

How do I know its ‘working’?

Therapy is a long-term investment, so don’t expect immediate results. It takes time and energy to build rapport, and as stated above, once a week or once a fortnight is hardly going to make for speedy progress. However a parent must also weigh up the fact that not all therapies are equal and not all will be useful for you or your child. The same can be said regarding the therapist. It’s hard though to know whether to give the therapist more time, or just to cut ties altogether and start investing in a new one. If you chose wisely, taking into consideration all those factors stated above, you should hopefully start to see the benefits of the therapy within a month or so. However if you’re getting the impression that the particular therapy or therapist isn’t working then, after having a chat with the therapist and seeing if that makes a difference, don’t hang around: change. It’s a business, it isn’t personal, and the therapist will have plenty more clients to fill your child’s spot.  

To further encourage the therapy to work you want to make sure that the session is being conducted in the optimum scenario, and that involves your participation. I mentioned this earlier in the ‘downsides of therapy’ section. Being involved in your child’s therapy will maximise benefits and fast-track its success, and of course, will help you decide faster whether the therapist is a keeper or not, saving time, energy and money. This might look like sitting in sessions and watching so you can practise with your child during the week. This isn’t always feasible when the child is having therapy at school or if there’s a second child with you in the waiting room, so the next best thing is to have good communication with the therapist outside of therapy time. Are you willing to put in this effort for the sake of your child? This might help you re-think how many therapies your child (and you) is involved in as well.

If you have any other questions or comments regarding therapy, please pop them in the comments box below. Before moving onto Part 3: Community sources, I will point out that there’s an aspect of therapy that I haven’t mentioned here, and that is when the parent becomes the therapist. Yes, that’s what I said: you become the therapist. Check out my blog post about this to read what I mean (and don’t worry, it doesn’t involve years of studying).