Why I homeschool

When people ask me what I do I say that I’m a homeschooler. I get one of four responses:

1. Horror. They think that this is the worst torture ever known to mankind - to be with their children 24 hours in a day without the relief of a school. Some days I’m inclined to agree.

2. Pity. They think that I wasn’t ‘good enough’ to do anything else and so I was forced into this lifestyle. Um… I actually have several university degrees and a heap of job prospects open to me.

3. Concern. Either for the welfare of my undoubtedly unsocialised and uneducated children (uh, feral!); or, to a lesser degree, for my own sanity. The former isn’t justified, but I can’t rule out the latter!

4. Wonder. How amazing I must be! They couldn’t possibly do what I am doing! (Or could they? Am I free to chat about what it involves?) Thank you. Thank you very much!

Regardless of which response is given, I am fully aware that the person in question is usually secretly (or not so secretly) thankful that they are not me. And fair enough, because I was that person not that long ago.

So if that was my opinion once upon a time then you might be wondering why on earth am I homeschooling now. Let’s get all nostalgic and take a trip back in time…

2017: the year my son began reception

My son is going to school. Huzzah! I have been looking forward to this moment since his birth (wait, did I just say that out loud?). We chose a local private school, completed the entry rigmarole, paid for his uniform, took some photos and dropped him off. I didn’t even cry. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son, but HE IS GOING TO SCHOOL!!!! Reception was a whirlwind, trying to figure out the school system and communication (or lack there of), and why my son’s behaviour degenerated by the time it was the weekend. Essentially, the school got the best and we got the dregs. It wasn’t pretty. Meanwhile, it was becoming increasingly obvious that his academic abilities weren’t the same as the rest of the kids.

2018: Year one

We start the school year by connecting closely with the teacher. We have long discussions about his academics and emotional wellbeing. I help out in the classroom as much as I can, considering I had a 3 year old tagging along. I take the lad to several therapies during the week and spend hours investigating things on my own and creating visual supports to support him and the teacher in the classroom. He’s put into a special maths group because he can’t yet count to 20, and even though he hasn’t moved forward in his reading, I give up on homework because he simply can’t do it. He’s too tired by the time we get home. Our weekend activities are restricted to church on Sundays.

‘Hello, this is God speaking, how may I help you?’

I was driving home from the library one school day and began praying about finances. At this point I wasn’t working and it wasn’t looking good for me to go back to work – I was spending too much time dealing with ‘school stuff’ and needed to be ‘on call’ at all times. Not exactly conducive to paid employment. Suddenly the thought popped randomly into my head:

‘I am going to homeschool’.

WHAT???

‘I am going to homeschool’.

Where on earth did THAT come from?! Here I am, praying about our finances and suddenly I’m thinking about homeschooling. Suddenly, I’m thinking of the pros and cons. Suddenly, I’m thinking this is the answer to our problems.

But aren’t homeschoolers feral?

Aren’t they unsocialised and uneducated?

How am I supposed to teach my son when I have no qualifications? And if the school can’t seem to teach him, what good could I do?

Etc. etc.

I go home and instantly write up a list of pros and cons. Here it is, if you’re interested:

Pros

Homeschool School
Incorporate learning with life Allows me to work/pursue other things
Less anxiety for him He enjoys school
Less rushed He enjoys routine/structure
Flexibility AND routine It’s easier, but perhaps not worth it?
Smaller/easier social engagements (better)
Lots of support
Fun! More time to play
Learn more
Save money…
He will have more time to self-regulate
I’ll know exactly where he's at academically

Cons

Homeschool School

With the kid ALL the time In-flexible
Lots of work for me Transition between school & home difficult.
She might not be as suited? Future bullying
I can't get paid work Increased cost (not really an issue, for now)
I have to re-organise Biblestudy and playgroup Not sure what he’s learning
It’s harder, but worth it Not tailored learning for him
School gets the best. 

I then do a cost comparison for the coming few years and homeschool wins out by thousands. Realistically I can’t work anyway (I had hopes but knew they were pointless), so two kids in private school on single income was a bit of a stretch.

The final straw

The clincher came the next day, when we once again arrived late (intentionally so). I had just finished literally dragging my daughter across the carpark because she refused to walk (oh, and refused to get up and get dressed and get in the car and get out of the car) and we arrived at my son’s classroom as they were lining up outside. I quickly unpacked his bag for him (he still couldn’t do it), gave him his hat, and watched him move to stand beside his ‘friend’. She flinched when she saw him and gave him a look of disgust. Instantly I knew that a) she wasn’t actually his friend, b) she wasn’t the only one - everyone else was giving him a wide berth, and c) he had no idea that this was happening. :(. I cried as I returned home. Academically and socially my son was going to struggle and I couldn’t let this happen.

In one day I went from fretting over how I’d make this school thing work, to knowing that I was going to homeschool. That evening I informed my husband, we thrashed out the details, and decide to pull him out mid-year.

The reality of homeschooling

• I’ve been homeschooling for 4 years now and it hasn’t been easy.

• I’ve had to figure out how to teach a child with multiple disabilities, all without support of professional educators (we fall through the cracks in Australia’s education and health system).

• Health considerations have had a huge impact on the way we homeschool and what we prioritise, resulting in therapies becoming our extracurricular activities.

• It’s been a steep learning curve to balance the needs of three very different people (myself included) and this is far from sorted out.

• For some crazy reason I decided to pursue study during this time as well, leading me to almost have a breakdown. Not recommended!

And yet…

My son is absolutely thriving. He has talents that would never have been discovered in the school system and an imagination that is incredible. Since we pulled him out of school we could monitor his development better and as a result he has received multiple other diagnoses and is able to learn the way he needs to/wants to/is able to. He loves homeschooling, has amazing goals for his life, and I love watching him grow and learn.

My daughter is also doing well. Academically she would have been fine in the school system but her high levels of anxiety mean that we sometimes fail to get out of the house. Socially she really struggles and it’s hard to tell whether school would have helped this or made it worse, though personally I think it would have taught her to mask and we might have missed that she is autistic.

Out of the three of us, I’m the one who struggles the most. Homeschooling is a massive mental and emotional burden on the mother/homeschooling parent and it is a huge sacrifice to undertake. I sometimes dream of sending the kids to school but I know that it would be impossible because my kids simply do not fit the system. On the good days homeschooling is a wonderful, rewarding experience. On the hard days I’m ‘between a rock and a hard place’ and it feels hopeless. But then I pray, I have a good whinge to others in the same position, I get some sleep, and then I remember why I’m doing this in the first place:

Homeschooling was God’s idea, not mine.
As long as He continues to make this my path then I will continue to walk it.
And God is good.